Maximom a bust

Well I finally got our carrier a weekend or so ago and I just figured out how to use it. It came with a tape for directions because reading it almost makes no sense. needless to say i figured it out and got both boys in the thing and hooked them on to me and it was just awful. Taylor fit well in his side, but because Callum is still small he just looked so uncomfortable in it. The straps kept trying to fall off my shoulders and it was just frustrating as all get out. Maybe if I had help getting it on it would be better.....but that was the damned point of the be able to use it by myself so we could get out for a walk.
I was all ready and had the boys ready so we could go for a walk around the no go.
Useless POS
I guess at least we can use it for one at a time.
I have a picture post!
For some reason they are mostly of Callum. Probably because usually I take a ton of Taylor because he is the one awake more.
I wanted to catch up and take a bunch of the little one!

Callum napping on the couch

In his little elephant outfit. I love the hat with the ears. I'm a sucker for ears.

Callum as a lion!

Lions ROAR!

Taylor napping in his bouncy seat. I love how their lips look when they sleep!

We took a trip to Sam's today. We have absolutely no money but had to buy diapers and wipes. So we spent our only 50 that we had to spend on just that. But, we have diapers to last for a LONG time.
We brought the boys with us and got tons of stares but only a few people said anything. Maybe they are intimidated by Josh and me with my skull shirt on.

Mini Van Mom!

I don't think I posted it...but here's a picture of the new "mom" mobile.

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I made Josh scrape the soccer ball off of it right away!
I haven't uploaded pictures off our camera in about a week. So, I have a bunch of pictures to share with you!
I noticed when I was putting them on the boy's website that Callum looks like how Taylor did a couple weeks ago. When he catches up they are surely going to look alike.

Callum on the boppy

Taylor on the boppy

Proof of Taylor's first nap in his crib

and, proof that he hated it!

Both boys in the crib

Callum giving the crazy eyes.

Both boys in their boppy....excuse Callum's spit all over was a barf a lot day.

Taylor showing his hatred of the crib

while Callum was napping Mommy and Taylor had some costume fun. he loved me calling him bunny boy.

I love the little paws! hehe.

I can't wait til Callum can fit in their costumes too. We have a ton.
Got home from doing laundry ALL day at my mom's about a half hour ago.
I did laundry from 1pm to 1am. No joke. What a long day. My mom's new washer and dryer are the bomb...she got the giant ones that fit like 17 pairs of jeans or whatever.... but, the dryer takes FOREVER and a day to dry.
I am so exhausted and I just fed Taylor but I know Callum will be up soon for his bottle. I shouldn't hold my breath and expect him up because then he'll sleep six hours as I stay up waiting for him.
I am officially a mini van mom.
It’s pretty awesome. I love it, but it’s weird being up so high. That thing can move and Floyd and Josh got the TV and VCR working.... for some reason it was disconnected.
Hopefully lots of relaxing tomorrow...but I doubt it.
My maximom carriers were delivered. I have NO CLUE how to use them. The directions make no sense. It also came with a how to I’m hoping that sheds some light. Now I can carrier my babies...or just one at a time. It will be so helpful.
I really should be sleeping.
Oh, Taylor took a nap in his crib for the first time the other day. I put him in to clean up their room and go through clothes for my laundry a thon and he actually slept in there a bit over an hour. I took pictures for proof that I’ll post later


I get so angry reading the other ladies' birth stories on the communities I'm in. I feel robbed of an ideal birthing situation. Essentially it doesn't really mean anything now, I have two healthy boys and we are all home and well. But, I just can't help but feel angry about how it all went down in the hospital. I am so angry that they did things without asking, would forget to bring the boys in my room when I asked, treated me like I was insane when I requested to keep them overnight and acted like they HAD to be in the nursery for this and that. I just can't help but feel bullied about the whole thing.

I am pissed that they didn't get me help sooner for breastfeeding. It's hard to not feel like a failure when you can't breastfeed your children when all you hear is how much better it is for them. It makes me feel like I'm not giving them a better chance at life or something.

It was just so hard to breastfeed when I didn't know what I was doing, wasn't getting any help with them latching on and the nurses kept pushing formula on me and the use of pacifers. I told them way before I had the boys that I would need help immediately because I had a breast reduction and may have a problem with my supply and everything. The hospital just wasn't equipped with enough lactation consultants and I didn't get to see anyone until the boys had already developed bad habits and we were all frustrated.

I am mad about them keeping the boys an extra two days because they said their temps were low, when it was less than a degree than what it should have been and when we'd visit they wouldn't even have them wrapped like they should have been and when I asked them what the logic was I was told by the one nurse that there probably wasn't any.

I am so lucky to have my two healthy boys and the end result is what matters but I am just so pissed about how I was treated.

Almost seven weeks later and I still feel angry about it.

I just had to vent.

Taylor just laughed in his sleep and it was the most adorable thing i have ever heard in my life!
I can't wait until they are actually laughing.
He decided to eat and fall right back to sleep.
Yay for daddy getting home in a couple minutes. I can shower and feel human.

The boys decided they want to be on totally different schedules......, which means no sleep for mom. I get one fed, changed, calmed down and back to sleep and then the cycle starts all over again. This makes for a terribly sleepy & grumpy Rhiana. No visitors today, so that means i am still smelling of baby vomit and in my pjs.
We went and spent the day at my mom's yesterday. Every time we spend the day there the night after and the day after the boys are incredibly cranky.... and this time was no different. Mom and I went to once upon a child and she bought them a ton of clothes. She also said she would help us if we are short on rent this month.... which is going to be inevitable. I really need to go back to work but i am not ready to leave the boys yet.

Ok Taylor is crying now...back to juggling babies.

Six Weeks

Tuesday we had the boys one month checkup even though they were 6 weeks that day....I guess it was their adjusted age checkup.
Taylor is up to 10lbs7.4oz. and 21 3/4 in.
I can't believe how much he's grown!
Callum is still trailing a bit behind but he is doing great as well...he is up to 8lbs10.2 oz. 20.5 in.

They were happy with their development and said that they look great. Callum's left testicle still hasn't descended but we have quite a while to wait for it before they will suggest going in to get it.

I have my six week check up tomorrow so hopefully I will be on birth control real soon.
I have been so stressed out about bills and money lately. I am trying to not think about it too much...but rent is coming up for November....we had the last two months of rent paid since August but with me not working we don't have a lot of extra money laying around. I'm sure we'll come up with it.....but who knows how.

The boys are smiling so much.
Those little smiles give an extra boost of energy everyday when I feel like I just can't handle it anymore.
They are amazing. We had a good day today. I had whichever one was awake at the time in my lap and I sang and talked to him. They love that and just smile away non stop. Looking at their little faces I can't imagine not having them.
They are what I've always imagined when I would think about wanting kids. They are exactly what I pictured my babies would look like. It's like I've always known those faces.
I definitely never knew love before this.
These three men in my life I love more than I have ever loved anyone.
It's so amazing and scary to think that I have my own family. It's wonderful and terrifying at the same time. I can't wait until the boys are a little older so they are more interactive....but I wouldn't want to wish away this time either.

I know Josh and I will do what we have to do to make it for our family...but I can't help but have some freakouts about money and where we are going to pull all of it out of.
Once I am back to work it will get better.....but then I know I won't be here for the boys all the time and I can't even think about that yet. I am going to have to go back soon and I just can't imagine it.

Well I hope everyone is well...they haven't given me much time online lately. I steal a little bit when I can but they have been keeping me busy. I feel like I am always either feeding, changing a diaper, burping or soothing someone non stop.
Josh's mom has been amazing. She watched the boys for us Friday night so we could go out. We went to our old haunt Main Street Lounge...we got all dressed up and had a great time. I got to dance with Kristen and Angela and act a fool. She stayed the night so we could have drinks and I wouldn't have to get up with the boys. Saturday she stayed with us all day as well and watched the boys that night so we could go to Poker night with everyone. It killed me being away from them for that long....but I have to admit that it was wonderful to have adult time.
. It was great and greatly missed as well.
I have to go to my six week appt this week. Well...that is if I can get an appt because I forgot to call and make one. I have NO clue as to what birth control I want to go on. I suck at remember pills and Josh is scared of all the side effects of things like that. I just don't know what to do. The IUD scares me a little...and I don't know about the shots that you can get. I guess I'll just have to discuss my options once I'm there....I would rather get it started the sooner the better though. No need to have Irish triplets.

The boys will be six weeks Tuesday!!
Goodness time flies. They are getting so big and I can't imagine us not having them. I would never say that they have a negative effect on Josh and I. If anything I love him even more and just look at him with complete adoration knowing he is the father of these two beautiful babies.
Oddly enough I am sort of excited to get our new van.....

Having a baby, let alone babies definitely changes your body. It's hard to look in the mirror and truly like what I see.....not that I ever did completely anyway. But now everything is shaped differently. My boobs are saggier and seem to be smaller even though I'm in a DD. My hips are wider and I have a gut. I feel like no matter what jeans I wear the front looks like "mom jeans". Josh did a wonderful job in making me feel sexy this weekend and I didn't feel weird or uncomfortable at any time when it was us two.
Now while we were out at Main Street Friday is a whole other can't help but feel insecure when a girl in giant boots, a wrap with her booty short panties showing and tape on her breasts. I kept joking and saying I wanted her boobs and her skin....but I wasn't kidding.
Josh laughed and said he would tell her that his wife wants to skin her. lol
It is so bizarre hearing him call me his wife...he does it all the time. It's only a matter of time now really. We were talking about that the other day.....time to start really discussing what we want to do for our wedding.

I nearly caught a smile from Taylor.
He has been giving great big smiles lately. They just melt my heart.

The boys are 5 weeks old!

We took the boys to the doctor today about their constant crying while eating, farting and pooping.
The doctor told us what I pretty much knew already. They have reflux. We are keeping them on the same formula and they are now on Zantac liquid two times a day.
I am hoping that this gives them some relief, I hate seeing them seem to be in pain. It's awful to have to watch your child writh in pain and not be able to do anything about it.
We took the boys by my work today. They were ooooh'd and aaah'd all over. :)
I couldn't believe how much more they weigh now! Taylor is up from his 6lbs 13oz to 9lbs 11oz!!!! Callum is now up from 5lbs 6oz to 8lbs 5oz!!!
They are growing so fast! I can't believe it. I still can't believe that my mom pushed out a baby bigger than Taylor is right now.....with no drugs! It amazes me.
Josh's mom is coming by tomorrow afternoon to see the boys and said she would stay from about noon or one til around when Josh comes home. She said I can take the opportunity to get out of the house if I want. I may do some things around here and then maybe go and do laundry.
Pictures from while my Dad and Grandma were visiting.

Mom, Me, Callum and my Dad

Taylor and Callum on Aunt Shannon's bed

Uncle Matt & Taylor

Great Grandma & both boys

Grandma & Callum

Grandpa & Callum

Great Grandma & Taylor


Josh's mom came back from working in Hawaii & got to meet the boys. They love her already, she just holds them and talks to them. She babysat for us today so we could get some time out alone. We just went shopping and had dinner. It's weird to be gone from them for that long, but the break was nice. They are starting to smile some, it just melts my heart.