i just have some weird thoughts to throw out there.

how strange is it to think that soon enough i will hardly go by my own name anymore. i will either be mom, mommy or Taylor & Callum's mom. it's so strange to think how everything changes once you have kids. i am so excited to see these boys. i'm getting more nervous about labor and delivery but at the end we will have two beautiful babies. to be able to see both Joshua and i in these little people is just going to be the most amazing experience.
next year when we're married i won't be going by Gunstrom anymore....that's kind of weird too. i was thinking about that yesterday when i was signing my name to some letters here. i thought....how hard is it going to be to get used to signing a different name? i am so used to hearing my last name with first name. it will be so strange! i'm so excited for all of the things going on. i have my occasional freak outs where i worry if i will be a good mom or if our relationship will suffer having all of our attention turned to these little ones. but i just have to be positive. i know i will be the best mom i can be....and i know that josh and i will still love each other just as much if not more than we ever have. it will be hard....but we can do it.

i walked to the back to put hot water in my oatmeal this morning and heard someone opening their can of soda. it reminded me of traveling. the noise of flight attendants opening cans of soda all over the plane. it made me want to go on a trip. i so wish that we could afford to take a vacation. josh and i have never been on a vacation together. i would love for us to get away and have some fun just the two of us. i guess one day....and it will be the four of us.

20 weeks 1 day

my ticker thingy says they are 10.5 inches long and wake mommy up all night from wiggling.
i can't say that that is true. i don't really feel them all that much. i feel little pinching feelings here and there that i think is them moving....and i have seen how much Taylor moves...since he likes to do karate kicks...but other than that i don't really feel much.
i have an appointment tomorrow at 3:15 and i can't wait to be able to see them on the screen again and for the dr. to tell me that everything's great.
so i am more than halfway there....since us twin mom's never make it to the full term.
so i guess about 16-18 weeks to go.
most of the people that see me and hear i am five months are totally shocked that i'm still hardly showing at 5 months. i still just look fat. i am fluffy and my stomach sticks out a little more but it's not round and baby belly looking just yet.
i am waiting for the morning i wake up and there it is.

i think my mom, joshua and i are going crib shopping this weekend with pappaw's money that he sent for our cribs.
i hope that target still has the crib that we were looking at. well...two of them anyway.

we are going to be stuck in our neighborhood this weekend unless someone comes to pick us up or we walk. we have the cherokee triangle artfair going on, on the next street over...so of course people all look for somewhere to park as they walk around....and our street is the one right over so they usually park there.....my brother in law and i parked on my street last year! hahaha....so i know that we will be stuck. it'll be nice to be able to just walk right over to it if we want saturday and sunday though.

19 weeks 6 days

Another weekend update.
It was ok. I spent most of Saturday lounging around the house. I watched both Godfather 1 & 2 and part of 3, until I thought better of it. I watched most of Gangs of New York until I decided to get off my ass and go to a friend's house for Thunder over Louisville.
I could have gone with my parents to a hotel over in Indiana and watched it all up close, but we were hoping Joshua would be home by Saturday afternoon. He thought they would be home around 5, but they didn't leave Nashville until at least 6 or 7. I had fun with everyone over at Darlene's. I am addicted to this Caramel Chex mix that was to die for. Everyone was drunk and I just drank my water and some sierra mist and laughed at everyone. The fireworks were pretty. I went home and got some tylenol and then layed on the couch with the puppies and started to fall asleep. I think about 12:30 or 1am Joshua came in and woke me up by giving me a kiss on the face. I was so excited to see his face! I miss him so much when he goes away on work. He had been gone since Tuesday morning around 5am....so I was definitley pleased to be able to cuddle with him to sleep that night.
Sunday morning Joshua let me sleep in like he always does. I got up a bit later and sat around a little while, he made us pancakes and then I took a shower and we got ready to do some running around. We went and got a Sam's Club membership since we can get a ton of diapers for a lot cheaper than buying them a little at a time anywhere else. We took a walk around Sam's and checked out things but didn't buy anything just yet.
We went to the mall so he could buy some new tool for work at Sears and went and grabbed a slice of pizza.
We had to be at my mom's at 3 for a family bbq since my aunt and uncle are in town. We had a pretty good time. I got to see my cousin's little baby and talk to the baby's mom. That was nice. Cayden was adorable...he has little elf ears just like my cousin. They come to a little point, but lucky for him they don't look like they stick out as far as Justyn's! haha.
We got to do a couple loads at my mom's which saved us a trip to the laundry mat today.
My uncle gave us $100, which was so incredibly nice of him. He said it's for baby stuff and half for our house warming. One of the girls here at work is moving in June.....her and I have been close from when I first started working here. She gave me a $100 gift certificate to Target since she said she knows that she won't be here for a baby shower or my birthday....and so I can buy myself some "fat clothes" :)
I was so blown away....that was so awesome of her.

I think that I am feeling some baby movement. But, I'm still not so sure.
I have an appointment on Thursday for a checkup so hopefully I'll get to see them on the old sonogram machine again.

My cell phone still isn't fixed just yet :(
I got my new phone in the mail this weekend but Josh was away and I didn't have another phone to call from and activate it....they only sent me just the phone, no other battery so if I switched it over I wouldn't be able to access my phone book anymore on the other one.....so I am in the process of going through and typing my phone book all out in excel so I don't have to go and pay $10 to have it transferred.
Joshua left for Nashville again this morning. :(
Hopefully he'll only be gone until Friday. I hate when he goes away, I really do. I just have to keep telling myself that it's only a couple days and the pay is great....he'll be back soon.
I guess I'll try and get my stupid cell phone fixed, it hasn't charged in days and it refuses to take a charge. Verizon of course won't approve me for an upgrade so I would have to pay full price for a new phone if I wanted one...and that just won't happen.
My parent's hot tub was installed yesterday and the electrician today should be out to get it all connected. I can't wait to sit in the thing and let the jets work on my sore back.
At first I was upset that they waited until I was pregnant to get a hot tub! But, my mom told me she doesn't like hot tubs really hot....and I'm allowed to sit in a regular tub so it shouldn't be a problem! yay! So as long as they keep it lukewarm all will be well.
My aunt and uncle come in Thursday for Thunder over Louisville. I'm not sure if we are going to go with them or not. They rent a hotel room on the Indiana side of the river every year so they can sit on the river and watch the air show and the fireworks....it really is pretty cool.
Another week or so and we can stalk celebrities again. The barn stable party is coming up and we can walk to it from my sister's. I feel like such a dork for wanting to go but it was really neat to see all those people up close and wasted. Seeing Travis Tritt mumbling and having a lady police officer hold him up was hilarious.
When I drove past the house this morning they had they tents and stuff being set up already.

the rest of my life.

Joshua proposed to me Thursday night!!!!!!!! He ordered the ring back around Christmas time and then with the baby whirlwind had held off on asking for a while with all the baby madness!
It's a beautiful titanium band that he had inscribed with always and forever on the inside. He makes me so incredibly happy. I have never felt so at peace and comfortable with someone. I couldn't think of anyone else I would rather be with or having standing beside me for the next 50+ years.

153 days!

I found my first additional stretch mark yesterday....on my boob.
Great! They're gonna be huge...and Joshua said that with total enthusiasm....haha.
Well he said "the hammers are going to be huge" and he can't wait....not like they aren't already.

I had a total craving for those little powder donuts this morning...so I stopped at the gas station on the way to work and bought a bag to keep at work. I ate three of those little things and I feel so full I could puke.

I wish I could have stayed in bed this morning. I had planned to get up at 6:45 so I could get up early get ready and actually either eat breakfast at home or stop and get something other than donuts. Of course as Josh was leaving for work he was like I guess you're not getting up? Nope...I slept in until at least 7:10 and was about six minutes late for work.
They're lucky I'm here at all. I'm so damn tired. It's not like they have work for me to do anyway.

18 weeks

blah. what a way to start the day.
i woke up around 3 this morning because our electricity went out for a bit. i remember thinking in my sleep "and it all went silent"...because our window unit shut off for a while. then i woke up thinking what the hell?! used that wake to go potty and go back to sleep.
i woke up like i normally do and took the dogs downstairs. i was trying to clear my throat when i got the overwhelming urge to throw up, so there i am in the front yard walking the dogs throwing up near the neighbors front yard. i am hoping no one happen to be going by while this was going on. i think it was the most i have thrown up during the whole pregnancy. i have had a lot of dry heaving and slight puking but nothing like this. it was awful.
so that was lovely.

we have to go and do laundry tonight....i am wearing a button top with a tank top under it and only one of the buttons on the top buttoned because i am getting too big to wear my normal clothes but still not big enough to fit properly into maternity clothes.

we went and got our microwave stand last night! i am pretty excited about that. we have our dishes and cups in the cupboards above our fridge because they were pretty much the only ones that they could fit in. we don't have much storage in our kitchen. well....with me getting fatter it's a lot harder for me to reach up that high...it's so funny that my belly is already getting in the way...and it's only going to get worse!

my honey looks so adorable! he had been growing his beard out because i love beards on men and last night he finally shaved it all back and now he just has a goatee....he looks so different being able to see most of his face. i forgot what he looked like!!
he looked so handsome.

i think his mom is giving us a futon today. we don't have much room for it but it can go in the front room "babies room" for now and i think we'll have room to leave it in there for a while...which will be good for if we get visitors or if i have to fall asleep with the babies for some reason.

we're still looking for a co sleeper or something to fit both of them in that we can put in our room for the first month or so.
i guess if we can't find anything maybe we'll just put one of the cribs in our room somehow.
We had a fairly nice weekend. Josh hurt his back pretty bad at work this week and has been moaning and groaning a lot and having a hard time laying and being comfortable.
We went out to dinner Friday night to the Cheesecake Factory....I had the best Cobb Salad ever....it should be for 12.50.....my banana cream cheesecake was the shit!!!!!!
We walked around the mall since there was a bad storm Friday night. Joshua picked out two little onesies at Hot Topic that say future Jedi Master on the front and star wars on the butt....they were on sale and way too cute to not get. I guess let's hope they didn't mess up and say boys when it's really girls! Either way...they can wear them!
He also bought me (him) another Apple Doll...she's wonderful! She's so creepy and I love her.
Saturday we went and registered at Babies R Us. Instead of me being totally excited and scanning a million things I was way overwhelmed. I always expected it to be so much fun....but really I felt stressed. We scanned some toys and really cute bibs and stuff, we couldn't decide on sheets or a theme...we liked the jungle one but it was like $169 for the set....and we need two! We decided if we can't find one reasonable that we both like then we can get the old fashioned winnie the pooh one from target.
My pappaw is sending my mom lots of $$ for two cribs! I am so excited! I found two at Target that are the convertible ones that change into toddler beds.
We also scanned bottles and I hated all their diaper bags. Kerry saw one on Hot Topic that I just loved.
My mom found the journal she wrote in when I was born and that was really cool to read.
I got some more specific dates about when they found out my Grandpa Arthur was diagnosed with cancer and when we visited him.
Josh went and visited his mom yesterday and told her the news. He had been wanting to wait til we knew the sex. He brought over the print outs of the ultrasound. He said she was excited but wasn't sure about the name Callum....oh well!
I also love Sonic blended floats.....yummmmmmmmmmmm........

The Big Sonogram!

We went for our big ultrasound today where they checked out all their organs and made sure that everything looked normal, they were pretty happy with their hearts and four chambers, head circumferences, we got to see that they both had two kidneys. They both have stomachs and all their limbs. They are right on target for 17 weeks and 3 days. She got to tell us that there are no cleft lips and their heartbeats are 148 and 150 respectively.

We also got to find out the sexes!


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Baby Boy A

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Baby Boy B

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Not sure if that is A or B's profile

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Both babies, I couldn't tell you how they're laying or what part is what!

So that's that!
We're really excited. Now to start picking out baby stuff.
so the day has consisted of pretty much nothing, watching tv and talking to the dogs.
a late night tornado warning and sirens going off.
me having a freak out attack about having been here alone in this house for four days.
i pulled a muscle or something weird in my neck and that hurt and made me cry and go off on a crying rant for a while that scared the puppies.
i now have a bloody nose and am terribly exhausted but not tired enough to sleep.
i'm gonna be real pissed when i have to get up for work at 7.
with all of that i am happy i could see ankle bones today. probably because i did nothing but lay on the couch and watch tv and movies.
Josh has been gone since Thursday. He went to Nashville for work, was hoping to be home by Friday night, then hopefully Saturday and now it looks like it may be very late Sunday night if that.
I hate having him gone this long. I guess it's better than a whole week but I just want him home. I miss him like crazy.
He told me that they want to send him away for two months in possible January or sometime during the winter.
I'm not too thrilled about that prospect, even though his pay would be great. Having to think about taking care of two babies by myself has me a bit freaked out. I'll worry about that more if it ever does come into fruition.

Other than that, I cleaned a whole lot today. I scrubbed our bathroom and kitchen and cleaned out the front room.

My ankles aren't as swollen as they have been thankfully.

It's such a beautiful day out. I've had all the windows open and the sliding glass door all day.
It's been nice to get so much air through the aparment.

Only five more days til the ultrasound!!