Angry

I get so angry reading the other ladies' birth stories on the communities I'm in. I feel robbed of an ideal birthing situation. Essentially it doesn't really mean anything now, I have two healthy boys and we are all home and well. But, I just can't help but feel angry about how it all went down in the hospital. I am so angry that they did things without asking, would forget to bring the boys in my room when I asked, treated me like I was insane when I requested to keep them overnight and acted like they HAD to be in the nursery for this and that. I just can't help but feel bullied about the whole thing.

I am pissed that they didn't get me help sooner for breastfeeding. It's hard to not feel like a failure when you can't breastfeed your children when all you hear is how much better it is for them. It makes me feel like I'm not giving them a better chance at life or something.

It was just so hard to breastfeed when I didn't know what I was doing, wasn't getting any help with them latching on and the nurses kept pushing formula on me and the use of pacifers. I told them way before I had the boys that I would need help immediately because I had a breast reduction and may have a problem with my supply and everything. The hospital just wasn't equipped with enough lactation consultants and I didn't get to see anyone until the boys had already developed bad habits and we were all frustrated.

I am mad about them keeping the boys an extra two days because they said their temps were low, when it was less than a degree than what it should have been and when we'd visit they wouldn't even have them wrapped like they should have been and when I asked them what the logic was I was told by the one nurse that there probably wasn't any.

I am so lucky to have my two healthy boys and the end result is what matters but I am just so pissed about how I was treated.

Almost seven weeks later and I still feel angry about it.

I just had to vent.