my goodness.
my boys are the devil incarnate.
their gas must be so awful.
josh stayed home with me today because they were screaming monsters most of yesterday and through the night.
thank GOODNESS for the swing. we definitely need another one.
i haven't gone more than thirty minutes today without having a baby attached to me.
i love it.....but it would be nice to get some things done.
i wonder how that gripe water stuff is really. i was on coliccalm.com earlier....and i wonder if it would be ok to give them. taylor screams while eating his bottle. it's just been terrible.

other than that nothing else really going on. screaming babies and shirts covered in spit up.
i think i've finally stopped bleeding. it will have been four weeks tomorrow!
i can't believe my babies will be four weeks old.
i need to buy them a play gym mat....that and a twin carrier.
any of you twin mommies have one?
it looks huge, but it would help get us out of the house on our own that's for sure.

my dad and grandma got into town last night.
they brought us all sorts of goodies. i got both crib sets for the boys cribs. my uncle sent down a super nice wooden highchair. it's really beautiful.
my dad brought us all sorts of baby stuff from australia...so that was really neat. they get some australian baby toys! two really cute knitted koala bears. some outfits from my aunt in california.
my dad told me that he wants to take us shopping for anything else that we need.
i can't think of anything besides clothes that they need really.......maybe a wipe warmer.
please buy us a mini van dad! lol


at least the boys had a better day yesterday. they weren't crying all day.


Taylor & Grandpa (my dad)


another of grandpa & Taylor


Taylor man


our little Callum


Callum and his Great Grandma Bonnie (my dad's mom)


Taylor and his Aunt Shannon (my sister)

we had a good time out friday night. we went to josh's alumni homecoming football game. it was some interesting people watching. then we met up with kristen and robbie and had a beer at a bar on the way home. it was nice to be out and laughing and joking around. they wanted to go to the awful strip club we all went to around new years...i was bummed, but had to go home and relieve mom and let josh go to bed since he had to be up in the morning. saturday we just hung around the house and relaxed with the boys. it was nice to have josh here pretty much all day to help change and feed the boys. it was wonderful. yesterday we got up and had breakfast, then his aunt came by to see the boys. that is the only family member of his that has met them so far. his mom works as an LPN for a cruise line, so now she lives in hawaii part of the year and left right before the boys were born....so she won't meet them until she is back in louisville in february.
so anywho, his aunt is a grandma to a set of fraternal twins that were just born in july...so that was really cool. she brought us a picture of them and they are adorable. she held taylor the whole time she was here and fed him while she was here too. it was nice to see someone from his family spending time with them. i feel bad now that i didn't take any pictures.
after the visit we headed out to target and bought a bottle warmer...which was the highlight of my day! that thing has worked fabulous! so now i can make bottles ahead of time and store them and then warm them up when its time. great time saver. we bought callum a new head bolster for his car seat since he's been all floppy. then we took the boys to my mom's to do some laundry and hang with my mom for a while. she watched them while we ran to sam's club to buy water, wipes and other ridiculous giant items. like a three pack of boo berry, count chocula and frankenberry cereal! yummmm!
we went back to my mom's and she bought us all mexican for dinner. her and i went and picked it up and had a beer at the bar while we waited for the food.
it was a nice weekend. i'm sad that everyone is back to work and it's just the boys and i....but that's ok.
OHHHH.
the boys are following things with their eyes some!
it's amazing to watch them watch things. i get a little sad to think that they are already growing so fast!
they are cooing and making adorable noises when they aren't screaming! lol
taylor's gas has gotten a bit better with the drops. he's my little cranky pants.

mom will be here soon to babysit the boys tonight so we can go out.i'm pretty excited to be getting out of the house.i'm nervous about leaving them, but my mom raised me and my two sisters and we're all alive so i'm not nervous about her watching them....it's just, well any of you with kids know what i'm talking about.it's hard to leave them.taylor and i went out on our back deck this afternoon when he was wide awake and he was turning his head all over the place. i know their vision isn't really further than a foot or so in front of their face. but he looked like he was in love with watching the big magnolia tree in the back...and he would make little silly faces when he heard birds chirping. it was adorable. i can't wait to be able to get them out of the house on my own. living upstairs and needing to drag down two car seats and the stroller and the babies is just nearly impossible.i have to make it down our stairs, then down the steps of our front door...and the steps down to the sidewalk. there has to be a logical way to go about it so we can get outside during the week.taylor has had pretty bad gas lately too, he's been so cranky. i sent josh to walgreens last night to go and get gas drops. they seem to be helping some, but he's still crying out and farting a lot. my little monster.i can't wait to take a shower! aww the little joys of when josh gets home.i get to shower and make myself feel human.

lovely little Callum

Taylor, they both sleep with their arms up like that...they hate being swaddled.

Little Callum again, in their sleepsacks grandma bought them.

Taylor and Callum looking upset

Taylor with a little milk on his chin.

Callum sleeping

Taylor in his outfit Tia Kerry bought him and Mr Callum sleeping in their bassinet after a long day at grandma's Sunday.

goodness they are precious. i am so lucky.

my favorite sound in the world right now is the "singing" the boys do when they are having their bottles.it is the sweetest sound i have ever heard.callum is my little peanut turtle man. he makes the craziest faces when he's hungry or starting to get upset. taylor is a momma's boy and just wants to be held all the time. speaking of....guess who's laying on mom's chest as i type. hehe.my stomach has been so upset the past two days. my incision kind of hurts today. i don't know if it's specifically the incision or my stomach muscles.i can't believe how strange i think i look without a belly anymore. it's so strange.it's surreal that i'm a mom to two little boys. they are just an endless source of amusement and i feel like i could burst with how much love i have for them.i miss being able to sleep for more than two hours at a time.i miss feeling them kick inside my tummy at night. but, i love watching them kick their little feet and try and eat their hands. i'm exhausted....but Callum seems to be cluster feeding today....he's been hungry all day.i hope this means he'll grow this week. he is SO much smaller than Taylor. i just want him to be big and healthy....even though the doctor said he is healthy and doing beautifully it just worries me that he's so much smaller.ok gotta go have the little peanut man crying in his seat.

my favorite sound in the world right now is the "singing" the boys do when they are having their bottles.it is the sweetest sound i have ever heard.callum is my little peanut turtle man. he makes the craziest faces when he's hungry or starting to get upset. taylor is a momma's boy and just wants to be held all the time. speaking of....guess who's laying on mom's chest as i type. hehe.my stomach has been so upset the past two days. my incision kind of hurts today. i don't know if it's specifically the incision or my stomach muscles.i can't believe how strange i think i look without a belly anymore. it's so strange.it's surreal that i'm a mom to two little boys. they are just an endless source of amusement and i feel like i could burst with how much love i have for them.i miss being able to sleep for more than two hours at a time.i miss feeling them kick inside my tummy at night. but, i love watching them kick their little feet and try and eat their hands. i'm exhausted....but Callum seems to be cluster feeding today....he's been hungry all day.i hope this means he'll grow this week. he is SO much smaller than Taylor. i just want him to be big and healthy....even though the doctor said he is healthy and doing beautifully it just worries me that he's so much smaller.ok gotta go have the little peanut man crying in his seat.

Birth Story

Tuesday morning August 29th Josh woke up early as usual and let me sleep in a bit. I woke up before the alarm went off that I set. We were out the door around quarter to 8 and at the hospital earlier than 8:30. They checked us in and took us to our room. I changed into the gown and laid on the bed for them to hook up monitors and watch how the boy's heartrates were doing. My blood pressure was pretty high that morning...I have no idea why it would be so high! The nurse that we had that morning was great. She had a great sense of humor and was really a great help keeping me calm. They did my IV a ways up my arm...and I have to admit that the IV hurt more than they usually do. My mom and Josh were both in the room with me while they asked all their questions and I filled out all the paper work they had for us. My sister came a little bit before they brought in the wheel chair and started explaining how everything would go.

They wheeled me down to the OR and Josh followed and they forgot to tell him where he had to wait so he tried to come in with us and they kicked him out. They sat me up on the table and I tried to not look around at all the metal instruments strewed around the room. I didn't want to see any of it. I was terrified and I hated that Josh couldn't be in there while they did my shot. The nurse from before stood in front of me while I sat on the edge of the table and had to slunch over for them to start doing the local for the spinal. This lasted for about an hour. They had to give me at least eight shots. They couldn't numb me enough to get the spinal in and when they thought they had I would start to scream. I was crying and screaming and when they were asking me if they were to the left or where I felt the shot I started shooting back I have no fucking clue where it is and sobbing. Being hunched over for an hour with the belly in front of me and tensing my legs and keeping my head down was killing me. All I could say was I can't sit like this anymore it hurts, it hurts. My mom apparently started to get real worried because they boys should have been born by then and been wheeled by them. She looked down the hall and saw Josh was still sitting outside the OR, he told my mom he could hear me yelling at them. I kept apologizing to the nurse and then my doctor who switched with her because I thought I was breaking their hands or my doctors shoulders that I was clinging on to. Once they got the spinal in my toes went numb immediately, they laid me on my side and then laid me down and put Oxygen in my nose and started putting up the curtain and everyone got to work. I told the anesthesiologist that I puked a litle in my nose and asked if he could put a tissue in my nose.

Finally Josh came in and sat next to me and I told him I was so happy to see him and that they hurt me. He looked scared. I laughed and told him I never saw him so colorful in his yellow scrubs, blue hair net and aqua face cover. I squeezed his hand and they kept asking if I felt this or that. I never did. They finally got to work. I heard them all talking but I just kept my stare on Josh and tried to not think about it. It wasn't very long before I heard them say Baby A is a boy and they showed him to us. I started to cry and then they said Baby B is a boy as well. They asked Josh to come over and take pictures of them, he asked me if it was ok to leave me and I said yes go see them. It was such an odd feeling while they were taking them out. I could feeling them pushing on my stomach and some of it felt like the boy's kicking. When they were pushing to get the placenta out I started groaning and moaning because it felt so weird...it was the strangest feeling I have ever felt.Josh came and sat by me again with both boys and I wanted to be able to hold them or at the least watch them but I just felt like I was going to vomit. So I told the guy again that I was going to puke and he put the little lima bean thing in my face....all I could think was if I puked in that little thing it was going to slosh back in my face. Luckily I just got the dry heaves. I was shaking like a leaf. I was shaking so bad that I was afraid to talk because I was afraid to bite my tongue. They gave me something in my IV for the shakes and I started to feel real sleepy. They were finally all done sewing me up and they had taken the boys to the nursery and I asked Josh to follow them...or he said he was going to, I don't remember!

They moved me over to a bed and brought me in a room for recovery for an hour. I watched that clock the whole time, I just wanted to get to a room to see my mom and everyone and most of all to be able to hold my boys.I couldn't stop itching my nose and the nurse gave me something in my IV for the itch. They brought in my placenta for her to tag to send to be tested and I asked her if she would show it to me. She brought it over and showed me the cord and the three vessels and showed me what it looked like inside and showed me what part was connected to my body...it was the coolest thing ever. Josh finally came back and spent the rest of the time with me in the recovery room. The same nurse from before was in there with us and was making me laugh and talking to me the whole time. I was so tired but I was afraid to fall asleep and I was glad she was there to keep me up.My time in recovery was finally up and they wheeled me up to my room. My mom and Floyd were already waiting in the room and Josh was there to help the nurse wheel me to my room. I don't remember when they finally brought the boys in but I was so happy to see their faces and all I could do was look at them and listen to Taylor coo in his sleep. Josh said that he sounded just like me and my sister Ashley when we sleep. Callum was and still is the quieter of the two. I got so frustrated while I was in there with the nurses because they were not helpful at all with me trying to breast feed and they gave Callum formula in the nursery and I was pissed. They also brought them in the next day with pacifiers in their bassinets and I was really upset about that as well. They weren't latching on well at all. I finally saw a lactation consultant the next day and she was a lot of help. She gave me a nipple sheild which I kept insisting that I needed the first day....and it definitely helped. They weren't getting enough food though. I felt like they were starving...and when I started to pump I was right. I was barely pumping anything at all. So I started breastfeeding and feeding formula as well. My mom stayed with me the first night and I was thankful to have her there. I wish that Josh didn't have to go back to work right away...but we didn't have much choice in the matter.Floyd brought me breakfast one of the mornings and that was great....he spent the whole day with me. My cousin came and visited a bunch of times. I felt so doped up the whole time. I got a rash all over my legs and my ankles were the worst. I think it was from the massaging booties they had on my feet to make sure that I didn't get blood clots...or from the harsh chemicals they use to wash their sheets.The whole staff pissed me off. The nursery kept forgetting things...or not passing things along, forgetting to bring the boys to me or pass along who their pediatrician was...so the kept calling and asking me the same shit over and over. I was starting to get worried about how with it the nursery nurses were. No one ever brought me menus for my food so I could choose what was coming for me to eat....and when they sent a girl to take my orders she messed it all up and the next day for lunch all I got was mash potatoes. All I could do was cry. I wanted to go home so badly.There were a few nurses that were just amazing. My late night nurses were great. One of the nurses I got for two days and she was the best. She brought me my morphine shots when the pain got really bad. She helped change the boys and was just wonderful.The morning that they were to discharge us all they told me that the boys papers had been signed and we were all going to be able to go. They brought the boys to my room and my nurse checked their vitals. She was concerned with their temperatures because they were both at about 97 degrees instead of above 98 and they decided that the boys had to be kept for at least 24 hours for monitoring. I cried and lashed out about how I didn't trust the girls in the nursery because they never communicated well with me and I didn't want to leave them. They were going to set us up with a room so I could stay at the hospital as a boarder but in the end I just had to get out of there. I wanted to be home.We reluctantly left the hospital and I cried most of the way home without the boys.

We visited them the next two days and I fought with the nurses because they wouldn't have Callum double wrapped in his blankets...or wouldn't have his leggings on. I was getting so frustrated. I just wanted them out of there. Taylor could have been released after that first day but I didn't want to seperate them. They were keeping them in the same bassinet or so they told me until the last day and I asked a nurse why they were in seperate ones and they weren't even next to each other. She told me that it was against their rules to have them together and that she would NOT put them together. I was so glad they were released that evening. I was getting ready to go postal on some nurses.It was the best and worst experience of my life.I came home with the most beautiful little boys I have ever seen.Josh has been wonderful and I love to just watch him watch the boys. He's been coming home and making us dinner, doing the grocery shopping and getting us anything we need.I miss having him here with me and I miss sleeping next to him. But I know that this is all going to take some adjusting and getting used to.I get weepy now and again. But, I wouldn't change this for the world. I just keep thinking about how much these boys are going to change me....and I know it will be only for the better.

One Week Two Days Old!

we went and had the boy's first doctor appointment today with our pediatrician. i really liked Dr Church. he said they are both beautiful and gaining weight and that we don't have to keep a hat on Taylor all the time if we don't want. we have to keep a hat on Callum until he hits over 6 pounds....he's growing and over his birth weight now. Taylor is still below his birth weight but he has gained since he left the hospital. i don't have the exact numbers in front of me...........they are just amazing. even with the lack of sleep and sleeping on the couch since i have to get up feed them every three hours or so, i just look at them in awe and get tears in my eyes. they are just so precious and amazing. i do miss sleeping next to my love.....but they don't like sleeping in the co sleeper and every time i try to put them in there and sleep in bed next to them they cry. so i sleep on the couch with both of them on my chest...that's about the only way we can get a few hours at a time of sleep. i don't want to keep josh up all night knowing that he has to get up and work 11 hours a day at 5am. he told me he feels guilty because we aren't sleeping in there....but i am home all day with them...there is no need for him to lose sleep now.......but, when i go back to work that will be a whole other story! his ass will be up with me!! haha.i haven't had the time yet to do the whole birth story...and who knows when i will. but for now i will update with some pictures while i have a few minutes!i hope everyone is doing well. i try and get on and read when i can....but that doesn't happen all that often.thankfully i get some time to get online when i have some company to give me a hand every now and again.

Taylor in his sleep sack that grandma bought him yesterday.

Callum

Both of the cuties in their bassinet...you can really see their size difference. Callum not looking so happy!

 

Both of them in their sleep sacks.

Hi everyone!!
I don't have much time to do a proper birth story just yet. But I wanted to update and tell everyone hello and thank you for all the congrats wishes about the boys.
They are absolutely precious and I am so in love.
They had low temps when they discharged me so they wouldn't discharge the boys. They've been in the regular nursery for observation for the last two days that I've been home. Josh and I have been going up and visiting and feeding them while they've been in there. Taylor was ready to come home yesterday but I didn't want to seperate them. They've had them in the same little crib sleeping together. I would feel bad taking Taylor away from Callum.
We're going up there in a couple minutes and hopefully they'll both be discharged!!!
I'll update proper soon with a birth story and more pictures.
I've been pumping since I was trying to breastfeed in the hospital...but my supply doesn't seem to be so great.
I only got about an ounce total expressed this morning. It's good to feed them every other feeding since some is better than none...but I hope that I get more milk coming in....until then I'll just keep pumping and hope that I'll get some more in.
Well, off to the hospital. I hope that Callum can pass their car seat test this morning.
Does every state do that? He has to be able to sit in his car seat for the length of time it takes us to get home to make sure he can handle the ride and doesn't have any dips in heartrate.

Ok well we're off!
I hope everyone is doing well.

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