Birth Story

Tuesday morning August 29th Josh woke up early as usual and let me sleep in a bit. I woke up before the alarm went off that I set. We were out the door around quarter to 8 and at the hospital earlier than 8:30. They checked us in and took us to our room. I changed into the gown and laid on the bed for them to hook up monitors and watch how the boy's heartrates were doing. My blood pressure was pretty high that morning...I have no idea why it would be so high! The nurse that we had that morning was great. She had a great sense of humor and was really a great help keeping me calm. They did my IV a ways up my arm...and I have to admit that the IV hurt more than they usually do. My mom and Josh were both in the room with me while they asked all their questions and I filled out all the paper work they had for us. My sister came a little bit before they brought in the wheel chair and started explaining how everything would go.

They wheeled me down to the OR and Josh followed and they forgot to tell him where he had to wait so he tried to come in with us and they kicked him out. They sat me up on the table and I tried to not look around at all the metal instruments strewed around the room. I didn't want to see any of it. I was terrified and I hated that Josh couldn't be in there while they did my shot. The nurse from before stood in front of me while I sat on the edge of the table and had to slunch over for them to start doing the local for the spinal. This lasted for about an hour. They had to give me at least eight shots. They couldn't numb me enough to get the spinal in and when they thought they had I would start to scream. I was crying and screaming and when they were asking me if they were to the left or where I felt the shot I started shooting back I have no fucking clue where it is and sobbing. Being hunched over for an hour with the belly in front of me and tensing my legs and keeping my head down was killing me. All I could say was I can't sit like this anymore it hurts, it hurts. My mom apparently started to get real worried because they boys should have been born by then and been wheeled by them. She looked down the hall and saw Josh was still sitting outside the OR, he told my mom he could hear me yelling at them. I kept apologizing to the nurse and then my doctor who switched with her because I thought I was breaking their hands or my doctors shoulders that I was clinging on to. Once they got the spinal in my toes went numb immediately, they laid me on my side and then laid me down and put Oxygen in my nose and started putting up the curtain and everyone got to work. I told the anesthesiologist that I puked a litle in my nose and asked if he could put a tissue in my nose.

Finally Josh came in and sat next to me and I told him I was so happy to see him and that they hurt me. He looked scared. I laughed and told him I never saw him so colorful in his yellow scrubs, blue hair net and aqua face cover. I squeezed his hand and they kept asking if I felt this or that. I never did. They finally got to work. I heard them all talking but I just kept my stare on Josh and tried to not think about it. It wasn't very long before I heard them say Baby A is a boy and they showed him to us. I started to cry and then they said Baby B is a boy as well. They asked Josh to come over and take pictures of them, he asked me if it was ok to leave me and I said yes go see them. It was such an odd feeling while they were taking them out. I could feeling them pushing on my stomach and some of it felt like the boy's kicking. When they were pushing to get the placenta out I started groaning and moaning because it felt so weird...it was the strangest feeling I have ever felt.Josh came and sat by me again with both boys and I wanted to be able to hold them or at the least watch them but I just felt like I was going to vomit. So I told the guy again that I was going to puke and he put the little lima bean thing in my face....all I could think was if I puked in that little thing it was going to slosh back in my face. Luckily I just got the dry heaves. I was shaking like a leaf. I was shaking so bad that I was afraid to talk because I was afraid to bite my tongue. They gave me something in my IV for the shakes and I started to feel real sleepy. They were finally all done sewing me up and they had taken the boys to the nursery and I asked Josh to follow them...or he said he was going to, I don't remember!

They moved me over to a bed and brought me in a room for recovery for an hour. I watched that clock the whole time, I just wanted to get to a room to see my mom and everyone and most of all to be able to hold my boys.I couldn't stop itching my nose and the nurse gave me something in my IV for the itch. They brought in my placenta for her to tag to send to be tested and I asked her if she would show it to me. She brought it over and showed me the cord and the three vessels and showed me what it looked like inside and showed me what part was connected to my body...it was the coolest thing ever. Josh finally came back and spent the rest of the time with me in the recovery room. The same nurse from before was in there with us and was making me laugh and talking to me the whole time. I was so tired but I was afraid to fall asleep and I was glad she was there to keep me up.My time in recovery was finally up and they wheeled me up to my room. My mom and Floyd were already waiting in the room and Josh was there to help the nurse wheel me to my room. I don't remember when they finally brought the boys in but I was so happy to see their faces and all I could do was look at them and listen to Taylor coo in his sleep. Josh said that he sounded just like me and my sister Ashley when we sleep. Callum was and still is the quieter of the two. I got so frustrated while I was in there with the nurses because they were not helpful at all with me trying to breast feed and they gave Callum formula in the nursery and I was pissed. They also brought them in the next day with pacifiers in their bassinets and I was really upset about that as well. They weren't latching on well at all. I finally saw a lactation consultant the next day and she was a lot of help. She gave me a nipple sheild which I kept insisting that I needed the first day....and it definitely helped. They weren't getting enough food though. I felt like they were starving...and when I started to pump I was right. I was barely pumping anything at all. So I started breastfeeding and feeding formula as well. My mom stayed with me the first night and I was thankful to have her there. I wish that Josh didn't have to go back to work right away...but we didn't have much choice in the matter.Floyd brought me breakfast one of the mornings and that was great....he spent the whole day with me. My cousin came and visited a bunch of times. I felt so doped up the whole time. I got a rash all over my legs and my ankles were the worst. I think it was from the massaging booties they had on my feet to make sure that I didn't get blood clots...or from the harsh chemicals they use to wash their sheets.The whole staff pissed me off. The nursery kept forgetting things...or not passing things along, forgetting to bring the boys to me or pass along who their pediatrician was...so the kept calling and asking me the same shit over and over. I was starting to get worried about how with it the nursery nurses were. No one ever brought me menus for my food so I could choose what was coming for me to eat....and when they sent a girl to take my orders she messed it all up and the next day for lunch all I got was mash potatoes. All I could do was cry. I wanted to go home so badly.There were a few nurses that were just amazing. My late night nurses were great. One of the nurses I got for two days and she was the best. She brought me my morphine shots when the pain got really bad. She helped change the boys and was just wonderful.The morning that they were to discharge us all they told me that the boys papers had been signed and we were all going to be able to go. They brought the boys to my room and my nurse checked their vitals. She was concerned with their temperatures because they were both at about 97 degrees instead of above 98 and they decided that the boys had to be kept for at least 24 hours for monitoring. I cried and lashed out about how I didn't trust the girls in the nursery because they never communicated well with me and I didn't want to leave them. They were going to set us up with a room so I could stay at the hospital as a boarder but in the end I just had to get out of there. I wanted to be home.We reluctantly left the hospital and I cried most of the way home without the boys.

We visited them the next two days and I fought with the nurses because they wouldn't have Callum double wrapped in his blankets...or wouldn't have his leggings on. I was getting so frustrated. I just wanted them out of there. Taylor could have been released after that first day but I didn't want to seperate them. They were keeping them in the same bassinet or so they told me until the last day and I asked a nurse why they were in seperate ones and they weren't even next to each other. She told me that it was against their rules to have them together and that she would NOT put them together. I was so glad they were released that evening. I was getting ready to go postal on some nurses.It was the best and worst experience of my life.I came home with the most beautiful little boys I have ever seen.Josh has been wonderful and I love to just watch him watch the boys. He's been coming home and making us dinner, doing the grocery shopping and getting us anything we need.I miss having him here with me and I miss sleeping next to him. But I know that this is all going to take some adjusting and getting used to.I get weepy now and again. But, I wouldn't change this for the world. I just keep thinking about how much these boys are going to change me....and I know it will be only for the better.